Odd Man Oooouut
Current mood: contemplative
Category: Life
You ever realize that while you're busy doing you're thing oblivious to the world, you wake up from the fog, take a look up and things aren't what they were. I didn't leave them that way.
Were your friends really your friends? They're squirrled away whispering amongst themselves. I know it's not about me, and frankly I don't want to be in the loop (can't say I'm not curious- who isn't?). It kind of bothers me when everyone else is in their own fun little places, but I guess it's not some place I've never been before. I know it's not a place I want to go again.
I'm tired of the things that goes on around me. The comments and the constant nagging and sneering like I'm never doing enough. I go every day in life setting myself up for failure. I don't have any goals to attain. I can only do my best, but it looks like my best just doesn't cut it.
The negativity that surrounds me is stressful and draining. The nit picking and every time I turn around. Are "they" pushing me to do something I don't really want? Are my buttons being fiddled with?
I read a really good blog today. It was about taking things in your life that are out of your control that aren't making you happy and letting go. I want to let go of so many things, but you know what- I can't. I'm scared.
I don't know what the consequences are going to be. I want to change some things, but I don't know how I can go about changing them. I'm ready for the final push that will enable me to let go.
I think of the Angel series and how he couldn't attain perfect happiness or else he'd go all evil. Well I think I'm almost perfectly happy sometimes, but I wonder if I'll ever be perfectly happy. I know what I want to do and I know how I want to go about it to get to where I want... Why can't I just do it???
Because I'm scared. Because I'm attached and I can't get out of my comfort zone. And because I think MY small sacrifice would cause other issues to pop up. And I just don't know!
I wish I had the 100% support of my husband on what it is in my brain and he knows what I'm thinking- and if he told me he wants me to do it I would. He is never really clear with me on these matters. Till then... I'll just plug away.
Hey- look this blog isn't about my head!! Yay. LOL But I guess in a sence it was... mentally.
What is the lesson learned?- that no matter how old you are you still don't ever get "life" figured out.
ps- I won't go all evil if I can attain my perfect happiness. I promise. And if I do Kirby will be my first victim. I say that because by deductive reasoning he'll be the one closest to me when I go all evil.
Comment:
According to this quiz I've already gone evil.
You Are 68% Evil
You are very evil. And you're too evil to care.Those who love you probably also fear you. A lot.
How Evil Are You?I could use an evil buddy. :)
Posted by Julie on Thursday, December 04, 2008 - 5:48 PM
I'm sorry if I'm someone you are speaking of. I know I pick on you a lot but it's all in fun - I love you and dont ever mean harm by it. I know it probably doesnt seem like it and I'll try to stop doing it - it's just so mundane in that place, there is little to enjoy or laugh about... I really am sorry Aryan. I'm bummed i'm not in your preferred blog list too - it's ok, I understand. I know you think Audra and I talk about you - trust me you are not the topic - everything I say about you I say TO YOU. I am mean sometimes and I dont mean to be, I apologize. You do a good job - you are very nice to your customers and you do whatever it takes to get them answers - I give up on looking for things way before you do - probably why you get the big orders you do much more often than I do.
Posted by Heather on Tuesday, December 09, 2008 - 10:48 PM
Wednesday, June 10, 2009
Tuesday, June 9, 2009
water in my pondering Tuesday, December 02, 2008
water in my pondering
Category: Life
So a lot has happened recently- at least in my head. I guess a lot has happend outside of my head, too.
i wrote this nice long blog and it was all about migraines. You know- there is more to my life than headaches. Someday I tell myself I will be able to actually live my life and maybe I can write a blog that isn't about migraines.
I just feel like screaming as loud and as long as I can, but I'm afraid if I do it'll give me a headache. I drive myself insane.
There has to be more than this.
Comments:
Awww....Im sorry you keep having these pain in the butt headaces.... I wish I could do something to help you! If you ever need to get away and hang out with someone, you know my . :)
Posted by Missy on Monday, December 01, 2008 - 11:56 PM
Stupid p-hucking headaches. I don't know what to say. I wish they would stop, too. :(
Posted by Julie on Tuesday, December 02, 2008 - 5:17 PM
Category: Life
So a lot has happened recently- at least in my head. I guess a lot has happend outside of my head, too.
i wrote this nice long blog and it was all about migraines. You know- there is more to my life than headaches. Someday I tell myself I will be able to actually live my life and maybe I can write a blog that isn't about migraines.
I just feel like screaming as loud and as long as I can, but I'm afraid if I do it'll give me a headache. I drive myself insane.
There has to be more than this.
Comments:
Awww....Im sorry you keep having these pain in the butt headaces.... I wish I could do something to help you! If you ever need to get away and hang out with someone, you know my . :)
Posted by Missy on Monday, December 01, 2008 - 11:56 PM
Stupid p-hucking headaches. I don't know what to say. I wish they would stop, too. :(
Posted by Julie on Tuesday, December 02, 2008 - 5:17 PM
3’rd Time’s A Charm Sunday, November 09, 2008
3’rd Time’s A Charm
Current mood: adored
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
I donated my hair again. I think I had like 12 inches cut off. It is really, really short! I didn't really know what I wanted to do with it or anything, but I was aching for a change. I think I was getting on Kirby's nerves complaining about my hair. LOL
So Katie at Fiesta just cut it off (for the donation part) and I told her to "now with the cuteness!"
She did a really super job. I told her some of my likes and dis-likes and she just had at it since I didn't really have anything in particular that I wanted. I have never had my hair this short before, but it is really adorable. I don't think my cat recognises me.
Gavin & Gwyn are at their dads. I'm sure Gavin won't care either way (boys- you know). I think Gwyn's jaw will drop. She will either really like it or she will really not like it. It will be fun either way.
I stopped by my grandma's afterward to visit and to show it off, but she wasn't home. So take a look at my pic and let me know what you think. I'll get Kirby to take some of the back. Right now it's full of the salan gunk and I don't think I can replicate how they do it, so I'll get some up when it's more "normal" looking.
Oh I love hair. I wonder if I should have gone into the hair styling business myself? I just don't think there are a lot of people that would want me around with scissors too often out of the day.
ps- migraine free for 2 weeks now (knock on wood).
Comments:
I LOVE IT! I just did the same thing a few weeks ago, not 12 in but maybe 8 in the back. Mine is long in the front and gets shorter around back. And Congrats on the migraines (knocking on wood.)
Posted by Satarah on Saturday, November 08, 2008 - 11:14 PM
It looks great! I just did mine last week. I donated 8 inches.. Couldn't make myself go any shorter. Hope your migraines continue to improve.
Posted by Jen on Sunday, November 09, 2008 - 12:37 AM
Oh I hate it! what were you thinking!!!JUST KIDDINGIt's very cute. I'd like to see a better pic, the dark background in the profile pic makes it hard to see. A lady I used to work with would do the "locks of love" donation thing, too. She grew hair FAST. She was a hair factory...
Posted by Ben on Sunday, November 09, 2008 - 10:14 AM
I was wondering about your hair. In your picture it's hard to tell if it's pulled back or not there at all. I haven't had the energy to let my hair grow the last couple years. I used to donate my hair. I think I donated like 18" once. YAY!! The danged Migraines are gone!! Or at least taking a break. I hope hope hope they stay away. They can bother someone else. :)
Posted by Julie on Sunday, November 09, 2008 - 11:40 AM
Holy Cow girl, you cut it off! It is sooo sexy and sassy! lol. I love it! Only if I had the guts to do that? How did your kids like it?
Posted by Missy on Tuesday, November 11, 2008 - 3:28 PM
By the way, I just thought that I should point out the extra 3" of neck.More for me! Mwaa Haa Haa!
Posted by enginer320 on Tuesday, November 18, 2008 - 8:53 PM
Current mood: adored
Category: Goals, Plans, Hopes
I donated my hair again. I think I had like 12 inches cut off. It is really, really short! I didn't really know what I wanted to do with it or anything, but I was aching for a change. I think I was getting on Kirby's nerves complaining about my hair. LOL
So Katie at Fiesta just cut it off (for the donation part) and I told her to "now with the cuteness!"
She did a really super job. I told her some of my likes and dis-likes and she just had at it since I didn't really have anything in particular that I wanted. I have never had my hair this short before, but it is really adorable. I don't think my cat recognises me.
Gavin & Gwyn are at their dads. I'm sure Gavin won't care either way (boys- you know). I think Gwyn's jaw will drop. She will either really like it or she will really not like it. It will be fun either way.
I stopped by my grandma's afterward to visit and to show it off, but she wasn't home. So take a look at my pic and let me know what you think. I'll get Kirby to take some of the back. Right now it's full of the salan gunk and I don't think I can replicate how they do it, so I'll get some up when it's more "normal" looking.
Oh I love hair. I wonder if I should have gone into the hair styling business myself? I just don't think there are a lot of people that would want me around with scissors too often out of the day.
ps- migraine free for 2 weeks now (knock on wood).
Comments:
I LOVE IT! I just did the same thing a few weeks ago, not 12 in but maybe 8 in the back. Mine is long in the front and gets shorter around back. And Congrats on the migraines (knocking on wood.)
Posted by Satarah on Saturday, November 08, 2008 - 11:14 PM
It looks great! I just did mine last week. I donated 8 inches.. Couldn't make myself go any shorter. Hope your migraines continue to improve.
Posted by Jen on Sunday, November 09, 2008 - 12:37 AM
Oh I hate it! what were you thinking!!!JUST KIDDINGIt's very cute. I'd like to see a better pic, the dark background in the profile pic makes it hard to see. A lady I used to work with would do the "locks of love" donation thing, too. She grew hair FAST. She was a hair factory...
Posted by Ben on Sunday, November 09, 2008 - 10:14 AM
I was wondering about your hair. In your picture it's hard to tell if it's pulled back or not there at all. I haven't had the energy to let my hair grow the last couple years. I used to donate my hair. I think I donated like 18" once. YAY!! The danged Migraines are gone!! Or at least taking a break. I hope hope hope they stay away. They can bother someone else. :)
Posted by Julie on Sunday, November 09, 2008 - 11:40 AM
Holy Cow girl, you cut it off! It is sooo sexy and sassy! lol. I love it! Only if I had the guts to do that? How did your kids like it?
Posted by Missy on Tuesday, November 11, 2008 - 3:28 PM
By the way, I just thought that I should point out the extra 3" of neck.More for me! Mwaa Haa Haa!
Posted by enginer320 on Tuesday, November 18, 2008 - 8:53 PM
Can’t Wait to Vote Tuesday, November 04, 2008
Can’t Wait to Vote
Current mood: anxious
Category: News and Politics
I can't wait to vote tomorrow!! I hope everyone who is over 18 exercises their RIGHT to vote and go out there and do it.
Yay!! I'ma try to get up at 6 and do it- or else I'm stuck in a long line after work.
Comments:
I voted :)
Posted by Satarah on Tuesday, November 04, 2008 - 10:34 AM
I voted and am gonna get paid for doin it... well they let us leave in the middle of the day and take some of our paid volunter time to do it.
Posted by Mystica on Tuesday, November 04, 2008 - 2:42 PM
I wish I would have Voted but I just didnt feel right voting and not know who I wanted in there
Posted by Maria on Wednesday, November 05, 2008 - 7:11 PM
Current mood: anxious
Category: News and Politics
I can't wait to vote tomorrow!! I hope everyone who is over 18 exercises their RIGHT to vote and go out there and do it.
Yay!! I'ma try to get up at 6 and do it- or else I'm stuck in a long line after work.
Comments:
I voted :)
Posted by Satarah on Tuesday, November 04, 2008 - 10:34 AM
I voted and am gonna get paid for doin it... well they let us leave in the middle of the day and take some of our paid volunter time to do it.
Posted by Mystica on Tuesday, November 04, 2008 - 2:42 PM
I wish I would have Voted but I just didnt feel right voting and not know who I wanted in there
Posted by Maria on Wednesday, November 05, 2008 - 7:11 PM
I got shot Thursday, October 30, 2008
I got shot
Current mood:In Pain
Or rather I should have said I got A shot. In the hip. Which is really close to my butt. So I can say my butt hurts.
Okay- this is a complaining blog so if you don't want to read my whining then just stop reading here.
So I've missed 2 more days of work (among other events that were important to me) in the past month or so and have come to the conclusion my migraine pills are jack.
Yesteday morning I took 1 of Kirby's 100 mg Imitrex (because I'm out of my expensive for nothing 40 mg Relpax) and it knocked me out for about 5 hours or so. I woke up because it felt like there were a thouasnd little men mining behind my eyebrow trying to get out of my body. I swear I could feel the bone chipping away. I half expected to have some cranium bone fall through my sinus cavaties and have to feel it in the back of my mouth. I never did. The pain radiates toward my temple and ear and spreads out like roots of a tree. So I took another 100 mg Imitrex.
Besides making me feel like I got hit by a train, it didn't do anything for me at all.
While I'm on a tangent here does anyone know what the side effects are for these drugs?? First they make my body really uncomfortably hot. Then they make the pounding in my head considerably worse for at least 1/2 an hour or more. The pounding is stronger and wider. Then I can feel it lessen (only if I'm lucky it'll go away). It makes breathing hard, like there is pressure on my lungs. My skin gets so sensative warm water BURNS. My muscles get really tired and almost sore, it's an effort to bother moving. And of course it makes me feel drugged so I'm totally spaced out and I can't focus. I feel just as useless on this medication as I am with the migraine. Oh- and I think it makes my hair fall out.
Why do I take it? Well because frankly I'd rather feel any other kind of pain besides the pain these migraines cause me. I can't even describe the pain of these headaches. And when that constant pain goes on for days and days. I only sleep because my body is so exhausted it can't keep up. Then I get the privelege of being awoken by the constant throb in my head. It is relentless.
I don't know how much more of this I can take. If anyone knows anyone and has any suggestions on what to do or how to cope- PLEASE let me know. I have tried many things and I won't put it past to try other things. I am preparing to start a new medication- and that medication is very expensive (which means it'll work because I can't afford it). Side effects on this one are scary, too. It's a prevenative.
How much more before I give up. My quality of life isn't much with these. My head determines what I do and if I do how much am I going to enjoy it? I DO have other problems besides headaches. I almost think it would be fun to focus on some other health issue for a while.
Since you read through this horrible blog I'll end with something relatively funny. Remember my expirament with toothpaste? Well I told the Dr. that I found that toothpaste helps provide some relief. She thought I was eating it. Gross.
Comments:
Sorry you are still going through these. Hopefully they find something to help you and soon. The only thing that worked for my migraines was Topamax. It is a preventitive as well. I went from 4-6 migraines a month to one (sometimes none) The side effects are terrible though.. so you literally have to choice the lesser of the 2 evils. I chose the migraines and quit the meds about 6 months after I started them. Good Luck !
Posted by Jen on Thursday, October 30, 2008 - 12:39 AM
I wonder if anything natural would work...it helped me with my problems. There is this guy in fort wayne that reads your eyes... I know sounds weird but it works. He then tells you the type of vitamins or herbs that will help you naturally without those scarey side effects. Its a thought, maybe it would help. OR, what helped me is changing to an all natural diet. There is this really great store in fort wayne with ALL natural products even meats. It comes without all those chemicals which throws our bodies out of wack which in return our bodies tell us there is a problem with what we are eating by these nasty health problems that control us. Let me know if you are interested with the natural route...anything natural wont hurt...:), and it is healthy.
Posted by Missy on Thursday, October 30, 2008 - 5:04 PM
Ladywoman, I want those stupid headaches to go away too. ugh. I've got a couple ideas that have a slight chance of helping but I'm sure you've already tried them anyhow.Dang those headaches, dang those headaches to heck. :(
Posted by Julie on Thursday, October 30, 2008 - 5:23 PM
First of all, I should tell you that Imitrex is a controlled substance, easily habit forming and should not be taken unless your the one who was prescribed.Second if you take alot of over the counter meds like excedrin, etc. You actually start to develop more headaches and that usually leads to taking more pills- which is what you don't want- told to me & my mother by a Fort Wayne Neurologist. My mother has suffered from migraines and headaches since she was 11 years old, we are now looking at enrolling her in a headache clinic in chicago (its one of the best places to go for headaches) because she has gotten to where she takes 12-20 pills of excedrin a day on top of all her other meds (she has a lot of health issues now). She can easily down a pack of Imitrex in a week (not recommended). Sooooo..... my point here is, be careful how you treat yourself in regards to making the pain go away. Because mom has over medicated herself for so long, she has a long list of health problems including Early Onset Dementia, Chronic Diahrrea (she's had that for more than two years), kidney problems, stomach problems, and a host of other things none of us ever thought could result from headache problems.Sometimes the best medicine for any ailment is lots of sleep, good eating habits, and a bit of exercise.
Posted by April on Friday, October 31, 2008 - 9:14 AM
Thanks for the comments. I just wanted to let you know that I rarely take OTC medications. Mostly because of the rebound headaches and I worry about the interactions with other medications I'm on. Maybe once in a very blue moon (such as the other day). I only take prescribed medications. The imitrex was prescribed to me at one time but because of the cost (they are $25 a pill avg) I use Kirby's. He has the same prescription. My dr. knows. I am very open with them about everything I do for my head. I never take more than 2 pills in 24 hours, nor have I taken more than 3 during an episode.Also, I have been very diligent in taking care of my body. I exercise on a semi-regular basis, I try to eat good (though I will admit I do have a sweet tooth), but I don't overindulge. I have mantained she same weight, and all that good stuff my doctor tells me to.They also gave me vicodin for when I absolutely can't take it. Istill have a pill left from the first 10 he gave me in Feb!
Posted by Kiara on Friday, October 31, 2008 - 10:42 PM
first before any more meds, call a chiropractor, could be a pinched nerve in your back, it has happened to me, try cracking your neck, and back between your shoulderblades, if it doesnt work... the only migrane killer for me is vicodine, or perkacet, yeah...habbet forming pills, but they work, and not everyone gets addicted!even a tylenol 3 might work, but call the chiropractor first, if you need names of a few good ones that are cheap, let me know, good luck!!
Posted Elizabeth on Friday, October 31, 2008 - 11:39 AM
Current mood:In Pain
Or rather I should have said I got A shot. In the hip. Which is really close to my butt. So I can say my butt hurts.
Okay- this is a complaining blog so if you don't want to read my whining then just stop reading here.
So I've missed 2 more days of work (among other events that were important to me) in the past month or so and have come to the conclusion my migraine pills are jack.
Yesteday morning I took 1 of Kirby's 100 mg Imitrex (because I'm out of my expensive for nothing 40 mg Relpax) and it knocked me out for about 5 hours or so. I woke up because it felt like there were a thouasnd little men mining behind my eyebrow trying to get out of my body. I swear I could feel the bone chipping away. I half expected to have some cranium bone fall through my sinus cavaties and have to feel it in the back of my mouth. I never did. The pain radiates toward my temple and ear and spreads out like roots of a tree. So I took another 100 mg Imitrex.
Besides making me feel like I got hit by a train, it didn't do anything for me at all.
While I'm on a tangent here does anyone know what the side effects are for these drugs?? First they make my body really uncomfortably hot. Then they make the pounding in my head considerably worse for at least 1/2 an hour or more. The pounding is stronger and wider. Then I can feel it lessen (only if I'm lucky it'll go away). It makes breathing hard, like there is pressure on my lungs. My skin gets so sensative warm water BURNS. My muscles get really tired and almost sore, it's an effort to bother moving. And of course it makes me feel drugged so I'm totally spaced out and I can't focus. I feel just as useless on this medication as I am with the migraine. Oh- and I think it makes my hair fall out.
Why do I take it? Well because frankly I'd rather feel any other kind of pain besides the pain these migraines cause me. I can't even describe the pain of these headaches. And when that constant pain goes on for days and days. I only sleep because my body is so exhausted it can't keep up. Then I get the privelege of being awoken by the constant throb in my head. It is relentless.
I don't know how much more of this I can take. If anyone knows anyone and has any suggestions on what to do or how to cope- PLEASE let me know. I have tried many things and I won't put it past to try other things. I am preparing to start a new medication- and that medication is very expensive (which means it'll work because I can't afford it). Side effects on this one are scary, too. It's a prevenative.
How much more before I give up. My quality of life isn't much with these. My head determines what I do and if I do how much am I going to enjoy it? I DO have other problems besides headaches. I almost think it would be fun to focus on some other health issue for a while.
Since you read through this horrible blog I'll end with something relatively funny. Remember my expirament with toothpaste? Well I told the Dr. that I found that toothpaste helps provide some relief. She thought I was eating it. Gross.
Comments:
Sorry you are still going through these. Hopefully they find something to help you and soon. The only thing that worked for my migraines was Topamax. It is a preventitive as well. I went from 4-6 migraines a month to one (sometimes none) The side effects are terrible though.. so you literally have to choice the lesser of the 2 evils. I chose the migraines and quit the meds about 6 months after I started them. Good Luck !
Posted by Jen on Thursday, October 30, 2008 - 12:39 AM
I wonder if anything natural would work...it helped me with my problems. There is this guy in fort wayne that reads your eyes... I know sounds weird but it works. He then tells you the type of vitamins or herbs that will help you naturally without those scarey side effects. Its a thought, maybe it would help. OR, what helped me is changing to an all natural diet. There is this really great store in fort wayne with ALL natural products even meats. It comes without all those chemicals which throws our bodies out of wack which in return our bodies tell us there is a problem with what we are eating by these nasty health problems that control us. Let me know if you are interested with the natural route...anything natural wont hurt...:), and it is healthy.
Posted by Missy on Thursday, October 30, 2008 - 5:04 PM
Ladywoman, I want those stupid headaches to go away too. ugh. I've got a couple ideas that have a slight chance of helping but I'm sure you've already tried them anyhow.Dang those headaches, dang those headaches to heck. :(
Posted by Julie on Thursday, October 30, 2008 - 5:23 PM
First of all, I should tell you that Imitrex is a controlled substance, easily habit forming and should not be taken unless your the one who was prescribed.Second if you take alot of over the counter meds like excedrin, etc. You actually start to develop more headaches and that usually leads to taking more pills- which is what you don't want- told to me & my mother by a Fort Wayne Neurologist. My mother has suffered from migraines and headaches since she was 11 years old, we are now looking at enrolling her in a headache clinic in chicago (its one of the best places to go for headaches) because she has gotten to where she takes 12-20 pills of excedrin a day on top of all her other meds (she has a lot of health issues now). She can easily down a pack of Imitrex in a week (not recommended). Sooooo..... my point here is, be careful how you treat yourself in regards to making the pain go away. Because mom has over medicated herself for so long, she has a long list of health problems including Early Onset Dementia, Chronic Diahrrea (she's had that for more than two years), kidney problems, stomach problems, and a host of other things none of us ever thought could result from headache problems.Sometimes the best medicine for any ailment is lots of sleep, good eating habits, and a bit of exercise.
Posted by April on Friday, October 31, 2008 - 9:14 AM
Thanks for the comments. I just wanted to let you know that I rarely take OTC medications. Mostly because of the rebound headaches and I worry about the interactions with other medications I'm on. Maybe once in a very blue moon (such as the other day). I only take prescribed medications. The imitrex was prescribed to me at one time but because of the cost (they are $25 a pill avg) I use Kirby's. He has the same prescription. My dr. knows. I am very open with them about everything I do for my head. I never take more than 2 pills in 24 hours, nor have I taken more than 3 during an episode.Also, I have been very diligent in taking care of my body. I exercise on a semi-regular basis, I try to eat good (though I will admit I do have a sweet tooth), but I don't overindulge. I have mantained she same weight, and all that good stuff my doctor tells me to.They also gave me vicodin for when I absolutely can't take it. Istill have a pill left from the first 10 he gave me in Feb!
Posted by Kiara on Friday, October 31, 2008 - 10:42 PM
first before any more meds, call a chiropractor, could be a pinched nerve in your back, it has happened to me, try cracking your neck, and back between your shoulderblades, if it doesnt work... the only migrane killer for me is vicodine, or perkacet, yeah...habbet forming pills, but they work, and not everyone gets addicted!even a tylenol 3 might work, but call the chiropractor first, if you need names of a few good ones that are cheap, let me know, good luck!!
Posted Elizabeth on Friday, October 31, 2008 - 11:39 AM
Melissa Pletcher Wednesday, October 22, 2008
Melissa Pletcher
Current mood: calm
Category: Life
I went to the viewing today after work. It was bittersweet. She lead such a beautiful life. I wish I could have gone to her wedding. She was so beautiful.
I saw so many people. It was like one of my "old groups" was back Chrissy, April, Inger, Meliss's aunts, and grandparents... The people in my life at a time when I knew who my best friends were and where I belonged. I knew what I was doing. My friends erased my doubts and life was fresh and waiting for us.
I don't think I laugh as much now as I used to.
My heart aches for her family.
Death is such an amazing thing. I speculate on how much life a death can bring. It draws families and friends together. People can put aside differences and hold each other up. People you never expected to see the rest of your life are suddenly there. You can remember and celebrate the life that was lived.
Which brings me to another point. Donating. Because of wonderful people that donate they can give precious time to those that may not have time left. They can make the quality of living better than thought possible. I can't think of any reason that one would not want to donate if they are able to.
I am a donor, I've always been. I told Kirby if they want to cut my hair and donate it to go for it. It would be a great honor to be able to help someone else. I don't think I give much now; I want to give more than I do.
Oh Melissa- the things I wish I could tell you. The things I wanted to say to your sister! It wasn't you there, but it was. Seeing Chrissy and Inger was surreal.
She was a sweet soul and I will greatly miss her. She has always had a place in my heart- and she always will.
Comments:
Beautiful words....
Posted by April on Wednesday, October 22, 2008 - 10:15 AM
I didn't make it to her viewing; I was taking April's mom to a Dr Appt so that April could make it to the viewing. I'm sorry that I missed it & couldn't be there with everyone. Your words are so true & I'm sure many people will agree 100% with you. I am also a donor. I hope that everyone who is able to donate realizes how important & life changing that decision can be. I hope that all is well for you.~Triana
Posted by Triana on Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 9:14 PM
Current mood: calm
Category: Life
I went to the viewing today after work. It was bittersweet. She lead such a beautiful life. I wish I could have gone to her wedding. She was so beautiful.
I saw so many people. It was like one of my "old groups" was back Chrissy, April, Inger, Meliss's aunts, and grandparents... The people in my life at a time when I knew who my best friends were and where I belonged. I knew what I was doing. My friends erased my doubts and life was fresh and waiting for us.
I don't think I laugh as much now as I used to.
My heart aches for her family.
Death is such an amazing thing. I speculate on how much life a death can bring. It draws families and friends together. People can put aside differences and hold each other up. People you never expected to see the rest of your life are suddenly there. You can remember and celebrate the life that was lived.
Which brings me to another point. Donating. Because of wonderful people that donate they can give precious time to those that may not have time left. They can make the quality of living better than thought possible. I can't think of any reason that one would not want to donate if they are able to.
I am a donor, I've always been. I told Kirby if they want to cut my hair and donate it to go for it. It would be a great honor to be able to help someone else. I don't think I give much now; I want to give more than I do.
Oh Melissa- the things I wish I could tell you. The things I wanted to say to your sister! It wasn't you there, but it was. Seeing Chrissy and Inger was surreal.
She was a sweet soul and I will greatly miss her. She has always had a place in my heart- and she always will.
Comments:
Beautiful words....
Posted by April on Wednesday, October 22, 2008 - 10:15 AM
I didn't make it to her viewing; I was taking April's mom to a Dr Appt so that April could make it to the viewing. I'm sorry that I missed it & couldn't be there with everyone. Your words are so true & I'm sure many people will agree 100% with you. I am also a donor. I hope that everyone who is able to donate realizes how important & life changing that decision can be. I hope that all is well for you.~Triana
Posted by Triana on Wednesday, October 29, 2008 - 9:14 PM
it’s not God’s cruel joke Saturday, October 18, 2008
it’s not God’s cruel joke
Current mood: forgotten
Category: Friends
Isn't it kind of funny how when you ask about someone everyone and their brother will tell you all about them? I knew who my friend married, how many children she had, even how hard it was for her to have her last baby. I knew of her health issues, and her struggle with life. All I wanted was to reconnect with her, but that was denied to me. Because it would invade her privacy.
I understand, I can't blame anyone for not giving me an address to write a letter or a phone number to call her. I even said myself I wouldn't give away anyone's information with out their permission... But it still upsets (and quite honestly, almost angers) me because now my friend is gone and I will never be able to contact her. I will never be able to hear her funny laugh or reminisce.
Every few years I go crazy and have this horrible drive to find people from my past that I cared about and lost contact with. I love meeting new and interesting people, but I also cherish those who have made a difference in my life. Today's technology has made it quite easy finding some. Others: I've written letters to ghost addresses or called strangers just to try to find such people (no joke, you can ask Ben, he is one of them). There are so many people I have known that have made me who I am today. As many hard times I've had I am thankful for those that were a part of it (even those that were with me during the good stuff, too). To be there and to help me along (even if they never knew they were such a pivotal people).
My friend was one of them. I haven't seen her for 9 years, but I have always considered us friends. We were the best of friends (I was best friends with her sister, too) and we fought and made up. She made new friends and so did I. But she always had a place in my heart. I always wanted to tell her I was sorry for being an idiot. Sometimes we were both idiots. I moved and lost contact, a couple times I rode my bike the several miles to her grandma's to see her and her sister, but it was a long way and soon school started. Of course I was attending a new one. Months later wemoved again, even further away.
Then, upon something as simple as running into her grandma I made contact again. She came to my wedding shower and was going to go to my wedding but that was the last time I saw her.
I got caught up in life once more and never tried to reconnect. So that is my fault. Isn't that how we lose most of our contacts with our friends? Life moves on in it's currents and other's get swept away in thier own currents? Before you know it months have turned into years? By some fluke you are able to reunite, but sometimes never. When you do have the blessing to run into each other you pick up where you left off; or sometimes you enjoy each other's company for a half hour and move on once more. I will never know which one it would be with me and her.
I always wanted to to tell her how much she meant to me. Her family made a world of difference to me. I loved her sister and I loved her. We both were dealing with a lot of pains when we met and when we were together the pain wasn't as strong. The years we were lost to each other never washed away the bond I felt with her. I always called her a good friend, even now.
I don't know how she ever felt about me. I guess it doesn't matter much now, does it? I would have very much liked to be a part of her life. See her children, meet her husband. I would have liked to be there for her along with her other friends and family when things got rough.
When I heard about her condition I wanted to reach out and touch her and take it away. I'm sure everyone around her wanted the same. I love you Missy (and yes, I know you hated that nick name). I always said it in a loving way, I don't know if she ever knew that.
She was an original. I know I have a lot of friends in my life and I know in the future there are a lot more best friends to have. But each friend of mine is as different and unique as the colored leaves of the trees in the fall. Even those that are no longer a part of my life. I think about them all the time.
To her family: It breaks my heart to think that as I curl up in bed with my loving husand there are people that have to sleep alone. I'm sorry for what you're going through. I hope you know that even though I am a stranger I am praying and thinking about you through this hard time. I would like to say that if you needed anything I would be there, but I know I am only a stranger. So my prayers will have to do.
There is no moral, except to appreciate what you have. Embrace your families and your friends. If they are special, don't just let them go. Fight for them and fight to love them.
Comments:
I'll always be your friend lady :) You won't have to fight for me. Just text me or something I'm always here, not going anywhere.
Posted by Julie on Saturday, October 18, 2008 - 2:22 PM
this is one of the reason's why i got a myspace profile is to keep in contact with all the friends from the past and present. I also found my 14 yr old sister on here that i had never met til august of this year. She wasn't at our father's funeral cause her mom said she was to young at the time. Now im getting to know her better and i thank myspace for that one or i would have never gotten to meet her. I feel so bad that i couldn't give you the info. But again i never heard from her or her husband. If you need anything just know that i will be here for you. Im sure i'll be seeing you soon and Please don't be a stanger.
Posted by Jessica on Saturday, October 18, 2008 - 9:58 PM
I know how you feel. I hadn't seen Melissa in years, until her and her husband came in to apply for Habitat housing last year. Since then, it was an uphill battle for her and her family. You know, after her husband, Mark, called me to let me know she passed Friday, I couldn't make myself believe it. But I think her passing makes me appreciate the friends I still have with me even more. I think you should come to the viewing at least. Its tomorrow at Demoney Grimes and the funeral is Wednesday at one.
Posted by April on Monday, October 20, 2008 - 10:24 AM
Current mood: forgotten
Category: Friends
Isn't it kind of funny how when you ask about someone everyone and their brother will tell you all about them? I knew who my friend married, how many children she had, even how hard it was for her to have her last baby. I knew of her health issues, and her struggle with life. All I wanted was to reconnect with her, but that was denied to me. Because it would invade her privacy.
I understand, I can't blame anyone for not giving me an address to write a letter or a phone number to call her. I even said myself I wouldn't give away anyone's information with out their permission... But it still upsets (and quite honestly, almost angers) me because now my friend is gone and I will never be able to contact her. I will never be able to hear her funny laugh or reminisce.
Every few years I go crazy and have this horrible drive to find people from my past that I cared about and lost contact with. I love meeting new and interesting people, but I also cherish those who have made a difference in my life. Today's technology has made it quite easy finding some. Others: I've written letters to ghost addresses or called strangers just to try to find such people (no joke, you can ask Ben, he is one of them). There are so many people I have known that have made me who I am today. As many hard times I've had I am thankful for those that were a part of it (even those that were with me during the good stuff, too). To be there and to help me along (even if they never knew they were such a pivotal people).
My friend was one of them. I haven't seen her for 9 years, but I have always considered us friends. We were the best of friends (I was best friends with her sister, too) and we fought and made up. She made new friends and so did I. But she always had a place in my heart. I always wanted to tell her I was sorry for being an idiot. Sometimes we were both idiots. I moved and lost contact, a couple times I rode my bike the several miles to her grandma's to see her and her sister, but it was a long way and soon school started. Of course I was attending a new one. Months later wemoved again, even further away.
Then, upon something as simple as running into her grandma I made contact again. She came to my wedding shower and was going to go to my wedding but that was the last time I saw her.
I got caught up in life once more and never tried to reconnect. So that is my fault. Isn't that how we lose most of our contacts with our friends? Life moves on in it's currents and other's get swept away in thier own currents? Before you know it months have turned into years? By some fluke you are able to reunite, but sometimes never. When you do have the blessing to run into each other you pick up where you left off; or sometimes you enjoy each other's company for a half hour and move on once more. I will never know which one it would be with me and her.
I always wanted to to tell her how much she meant to me. Her family made a world of difference to me. I loved her sister and I loved her. We both were dealing with a lot of pains when we met and when we were together the pain wasn't as strong. The years we were lost to each other never washed away the bond I felt with her. I always called her a good friend, even now.
I don't know how she ever felt about me. I guess it doesn't matter much now, does it? I would have very much liked to be a part of her life. See her children, meet her husband. I would have liked to be there for her along with her other friends and family when things got rough.
When I heard about her condition I wanted to reach out and touch her and take it away. I'm sure everyone around her wanted the same. I love you Missy (and yes, I know you hated that nick name). I always said it in a loving way, I don't know if she ever knew that.
She was an original. I know I have a lot of friends in my life and I know in the future there are a lot more best friends to have. But each friend of mine is as different and unique as the colored leaves of the trees in the fall. Even those that are no longer a part of my life. I think about them all the time.
To her family: It breaks my heart to think that as I curl up in bed with my loving husand there are people that have to sleep alone. I'm sorry for what you're going through. I hope you know that even though I am a stranger I am praying and thinking about you through this hard time. I would like to say that if you needed anything I would be there, but I know I am only a stranger. So my prayers will have to do.
There is no moral, except to appreciate what you have. Embrace your families and your friends. If they are special, don't just let them go. Fight for them and fight to love them.
Comments:
I'll always be your friend lady :) You won't have to fight for me. Just text me or something I'm always here, not going anywhere.
Posted by Julie on Saturday, October 18, 2008 - 2:22 PM
this is one of the reason's why i got a myspace profile is to keep in contact with all the friends from the past and present. I also found my 14 yr old sister on here that i had never met til august of this year. She wasn't at our father's funeral cause her mom said she was to young at the time. Now im getting to know her better and i thank myspace for that one or i would have never gotten to meet her. I feel so bad that i couldn't give you the info. But again i never heard from her or her husband. If you need anything just know that i will be here for you. Im sure i'll be seeing you soon and Please don't be a stanger.
Posted by Jessica on Saturday, October 18, 2008 - 9:58 PM
I know how you feel. I hadn't seen Melissa in years, until her and her husband came in to apply for Habitat housing last year. Since then, it was an uphill battle for her and her family. You know, after her husband, Mark, called me to let me know she passed Friday, I couldn't make myself believe it. But I think her passing makes me appreciate the friends I still have with me even more. I think you should come to the viewing at least. Its tomorrow at Demoney Grimes and the funeral is Wednesday at one.
Posted by April on Monday, October 20, 2008 - 10:24 AM
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