My myspace drama!!! yay! (just kidding about the yay).
I have this friend that pretty much since I've had myspace I've been 2 on her list. (We have been friends for over 14 years- since 7th grade!) so naturally I had her 2, too.
As most of you know (and most of you don't care) I recently changed my name from "fantastic elastic" to "Miss Aryan." Yeah, "Aryan" my real & legal name. It isn't unusual for people to have their first names on myspace (my friend has her first name on hers). But I guess you can only have your name on myspace if it is "normal" and not different. Which is odd because this friend prides herself in the unique and unusual. I guess I am too "out there" to be accepted by her.
I don't care if someone feels they want to remove me as a top friend BUT her reasoning was WAY off. And considering that we're not strangers is quite offensive.
She once commented to me that she purposely miss-spelled my name in her cell phone incase she lost it so people wouldn't think her racist. Well- here is her response in why she can't have me on her friends. Am I being unreasonable? If so PLEASE tell me so.
Per her request I am taking her actual e-mail out. BUT because this is an issue to me I will still put in basically what pertains to why this subject came up in the first place:
She claims she doesn't care what people think, but she has friends from her work on her myspace and she keeps it public because every so often someone awesome from "way back when" finds her. (as I'm sure we all have).
And according to her Aryan (not my name, but the way it's spelled) is the Hitler-perfect definition. And because of where she is from (need I remind anyone I lived in the same area for years myself) with the problems of racism there she doesn't want to offend anyone.
She thinks that someone would make assumptions about her and her character if she has a friend that spells her name "Aryan" (which I do, but it IS my name).
She did admit it was stupid of her, because it is my name. Most people that make the connection with the spelling of my name and the Hitler skinhead white racists spelling of their perfect race come to the conclusion that it's just a spelling issue and me- nor anyone I speak of is like that because that isn't my name.
Kirby suggested that I should drop it when I got irritated on the issue (for the third time), but I'm afraid if I drop the subject (and conform to her by changing my name) then that's telling her and EVERY other closed minded person that it's okay and acceptable and I want you to know IT'S NOT!!!
ps, don't go to my 2 because it's not julie.
Shortly will be my reply in the response she made to my blog and I will respectfully NOT post her reply although I was tempted to do so. My opinion: once you send a letter to me I can do with it as I feel fit. So if you're mad at me and want to lynch me in an e-amil be aware I may post it as a blog. Because I CAN and that is my right. Of course she didn't complain when it was a "good" letter I posted once.
Anyhoos this was my personal letter I can post it...
I figured you'd be mad about the blog, but I wanted to get my thoughts out there. I sought insight to see if I was being unreasonable. It was not "apologetic in tone," I think condescending is more like it. I didn't mention your name or any identifiable characteristics that would drive anyone to know it was you. Of course Kirby knows because I was pretty upset and hurt by your actions.
I admit- I was deceitful in changing to Adams to see if you were really serious about removing me because of my name or if you just needed an excuse to remove me. If you feel you need to remove me (or post a disclaimer bulletin) from your list because you're concerned about what your friends will think, then by all means do so. I will not provide you the sympathy you're asking for though.
I didn't say anything mean about you either. Regardless weather you think so or not- you are the one who is wrong. I'm aware of what google pulls up (the links you sent me were not necessary, but thanks) and all that imply, but "Aryan" in that form is not my name- that's not even how it's pronounced! You can make anything bad if you try hard enough; it just happens to be easy to find bad things about my name if you choose to take it out of context.
If you want to insinuate I am racist or any thing of the like, then I suppose we have a whole other issue here. Just because my name is spelled "Aryan" does not denote I am racist. I am NOT, and just because I live in the Midwest does not mean I am oblivious to the issues around me. I have never taken lightly the slightest miss-pronunciation of my name because of those very serious and real issues.
I'm sorry people are still affected by the brutality in inhumanity of the people that still refuse to take part in the wonderful melting pot that our nation is. But that's life. I can not- and will not let your insecurities or any one else's ignorance rule my life because of the way my name is spelled.
Frankly, I agree with those that told me Aryan is a beautiful and unique name. If I choose to use it as my display name to express myself for a while then I should be able to freely. I'm sorry if I ever caused you trouble. My name is what it is. It's not something I can change. I shouldn't have to be the one to apologize for that. And I'm not going to.
Comments:
I don't think you are being unreasonable at all. It is your name and you should be proud of it.. not try and hide it because a friend is worried about what others will think of it. For someone not too worried about what others think, she sure seems worried about it. Post your name however you want.. after all, it is your Myspace. If she doesn't like it.. she is free to "drop it" Hope things work out.
Posted by Jen on Saturday, February 09, 2008 - 7:48 PM
ryry... i feel for you... and i think the same as your other comment. its your name and i have always loved it...i'll never bump u just cuz what u want your s/n to be... and i think you should be proud.. the only reason someone would have to be so concerned is if they are actually racist. don't change ur name MISS ARYAN!!!
Posted by Mystica on Saturday, February 09, 2008 - 9:26 PM
What a stupid reason for her to knock you off her top friends list....its not even about being knocked off of her list but for her to give that reason..Weird and STUPID might describe that
Posted by Crystal on Sunday, February 10, 2008 - 11:24 PM
Oh yeah forgot to Add I love your name
Posted by Crystal on Sunday, February 10, 2008 - 11:24 PM
First off if she is a "True" friend she wouldn't care what other people on myspace thought of your name!!!! That is your name and you should be proud of it. And to be honest with you I never heard that Aryan was related to Hitler or Skinheads, and I'm sure that there are others who have never heard of this either. I've seen screen names on myspace that are a lot worse than that so I wouldn't let it bother to me much. Hugs!!!!
Posted by Andrea on Friday, February 22, 2008 - 8:50 PM
First off if she is a "True" friend she wouldn't care what other people on myspace thought of your name!!!! That is your name and you should be proud of it. And to be honest with you I never heard that Aryan was related to Hitler or Skinheads, and I'm sure that there are others who have never heard of this either. I've seen screen names on myspace that are a lot worse than that so I wouldn't let it bother to me much. Hugs!!!!
Posted by Andrea on Friday, February 22, 2008 - 8:50 PM
You wrote one good letter!
Posted by Crystal on Friday, February 29, 2008 - 11:14 AM
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