Sadness Thursday, September 28, 2006

sadness
Current mood: sad
Category: Life
Saddness
Thursday, September 28, 2006

I know it's a lonely world out there & life sucks. No matter what you do there is no turning back. I see those two together and I know I may have my own, but it's not mine yet. I hate to think of my life being thrown away into empty oblivion while I plug away for nothing.
I think of what is love and it mocks me. The bible says love is patient, love is kind, it does not evny, it does not boast,... and many more things. I tell myself every day that love is patient. I tell myself love does not envy and I can't go on with envy in my heart. I miss what I once had, but I know there has to be better out there. I know there is better a phone call away.
I'm scared though because I don't know what the future holds and I want to know that everything is going to be okay when I don't know that.
People tell me to do what my heart tells me and sometimes my heart confuses me. I want to do what's right, but it seems like I always lose....
I'm sick of this & I'm sick of living for nothing. Yes I have my children, but I hardly see them with working and when I'm home they're too busy for me. I wonder if I can even relate to them anymore??
I'm tired and worn out. I wish there was a better way to go through this. I wish I wouldn't get hurt anymore.