I have figured it out!! The * answer * to why life sucks sometimes!! Tuesday, April 03, 2007

I have figured it out!! The * answer * to why life sucks sometimes!!
Current mood: nerdy
The answer to this question (why life sucks sometimes) pertains not just to the two preceding paragraphs, but to many sucky life situations.

I have been bothered by things in recent events, starting with why was I so stupidly upset because Anna was so stinking pretty the other day? And why did I block the memory of myself PULLING Mark off of her (and taking certain photos with the digicam) when we were still married? Did I not see that as a sign? Why didn't I remember until now? Furthermore, why is it hurting so much? (My answer in a moment to this doozey)

I have come to the conclusion that I need to remove myself from this situation. I won't be able to rid myself of some of these negative feelings until I am away from the negativity. Which means plainly- I don't want to look at that ugly mug every stinkin day. I need a new job.

Now... onto my answer!!

I think life is kind of like surgery. You may have something wrong and the only way to fix it is surgery... Everyone knows surgery can be one of the most painful things you have to endure (they cut you open and mess with your insides for crying out loud)! Everyone also knows that after surgery you are in quite a lot of pain, and sometimes the pain doesn't go away for a long time. But... you still have to do it to make your body better. You know in the long run you are better off going through the pain and misery and eventually you will be healed and you will only have a distant scar.

Life is like that.

So even though I know I am better off w/o Mark (and Anna's false friendship). And in the long run I will be happier than I ever dreamt I could be... It still hurts sometimes. I am happier now, but sometimes the repercussions of their choices affect me and sometimes I still have pain. I am not missing or homesick for anyone, but I hurt.

Luckily for me I have someone taking care of my heart and reminding me how wonderful they think I am when I don't feel that way... I really don't deserve it, but I have it.

Comments:

Wow.. what a great way to look at it (life) and how very true. Oh.. and yes, you really do deserve it.
Just keep telling yourself that you do deserve it and deserve to be happy. Good Luck with the new job!
Posted by Jen on Sunday, April 08, 2007 - 3:05 AM

you are so right, and the memory thing, I sometimes remember things that I forgot about something,that should not have been forgotin...and wonder what the fuck, how could I not think of that!!! silly of us, but sometimes for our own good. you do deserve the verry best, which I think you have found.good luck with that.and the new job!!
Posted by Elizabeth on Sunday, April 08, 2007 - 4:20 AM