My Uncle Richard Monday,October 02, 2006

My Uncle Richard
Current mood: discontent
Category: Life
My Uncle Richard
Monday,October 02, 2006

I know he won't mind me reposting his personal and private e-mail because it's not bad. We have a family group on yahoo & all of Mark's family are going on and on about religion (mostly mary- who removed herself from the group after my uncle- from my side of the family- made a comment about the religious talk)- so I just updated him on what's going on...

Aryan-- Thanks for the heads up. I'm sorry to hear about what happened as I know it can be incredibly painful. Even though we know intellectually that feelings originate in the head and that the heart is only a pump for the circulatory system, it still feels like the heart has been slammed into a meat grinder and someone is slowly turning the crank. Been there, done that, got the T-shirt, and don't ever want to go there again or see anyone else go through it. So basically, even though we're a few decades apart, if you need somone to talk to, dump on, send poetry to, or simply listen, I'm here for you. I haven't been keeping in touch with your mom, or my brother, for that matter. I assume by the silence that they're having full lives and living happily ever after. I am. My only connection is the family group thing. (: I don't envy you what your going through in another sense. You're in a part of the country that is much less forgiving in certain ways, where what you do is assumed to mean more than it does. Some might say that if you were to get back together with Mark, that they could then pretend that nothing happened and everything was rosey again and in it's neat little place. Basically, your relationship has changed, for good or ill, whether you get back together or not. Even if you divorce, the relationship will not be over (especially with two kids), but will simply be undergo a redefinition. Your family loves you and wants to be supportive. They're doing the best they can--of that I have no doubts. From my point of view, however, (as you've probably noticed from my previous e-mail to the group), maybe sometimes God isn't every answer and the only answer. If you believe in God, then you may be able to think that maybe there's a reason for having the power of reason, for having feelings that are both wonderful and painful. You'll probably hear things like "everything happens for a reason" and "things always happen for the best." While I don't buy into the "everything happens for a reason," argument, I think theres a lot of truth behind things happening for the best. It's like some principle fires up, that because we've been moved out of our comfort zone, we have to find a new spot to be comfortable in. More often than not, because we've learned and grown since the last time we find the comfort spot, we subconsciously use our reasoning to find a better comfort spot. But getting kicked out of the old zone is not a happy experience, and the year or so to get over it is not a comfortable time. Just surround yourself with friends. If they want to talk about God, let them. If they want to talk about the future, so be it. If they want to listen to your fears and hopes and anger and whatever else you're feeling, seek them out. I hate to say that things will work out for the best, but they will. Even without a God, the percentages are with you. If you have a God, even better. But sometimes even talking to an old teddy bear can help. In the meanwhile, I'm here. --Rich

Comments:

your uncle richard seems awesome and wise, compassionate without being over emotional. he sounds like a really good and stable person to go to for comfort and advise and maybe like he's been through some similarly trying times.

i also approve of his grammar.
Posted by kathleen on Tuesday, October 03, 2006 - 12:15 AM