To My Friend... Thursday, January 18, 2007

To My Friend...
Current mood: thoughtful
Category: Writing and Poetry
I honestly haven't thought of a title for this poem yet. The emotions and feelings are as raw and open as they were when it happened. I've spent hours pondering and thinking about some of this stuff.

You know who you are- this poem I wrote for you. You were an important person in my life and it hurts me when you want to push me away and out of your life. If you can't be friends then choose not to be. If you want to be friends, then lets be friends. I can't yo-yo anymore.

I know we're both capable of happiness, so lets choose to be. If that means you need me out of your life, then so be it.

My mind is full of so many thoughts, here is a glimpse of what I carry inside me:





My mind wonders...

As I slip in and out of my unconsciousness consciousness

You were like a dream

A fragment of something wonderful I only imagined

When I met you

You were my early dawn

A light shining in my darkness

Crisp and bright in the grim, hurt recesses of my mind

I was tormented

You were unwavering

You showered me like none before

When I needed you the most

You never left me lonely

I was a damaged product

You were helping put back together

My world was wrecked

You encouraged my faith

I thought I lost it all

You said I made life worthwhile

I was worthless you put a drop in still waters

The ripple grew and flowed to the outer banks

I wasn't sure what it was at first

Most of the time I was confused about the "we"

I almost felt like you needed me

My insecurities bumbled in our way

You despised my questions

And my pondering, frightened mind

I wanted to remedy it

I didn't want to be that way

But I wasn't secure

I was frail

You were fresh morning dew

I wanted to blanket you

Like new fallen snow

And melt into the depth of your soul

I wanted you to see the real me

That was trapped in my walls and hurts

It saddened me when you let go

I knew it was coming

And hoped it wouldn't

I just wasn't ready yet

I was angry for a while

I didn't get to tell you

Or show you

I felt ripped off

I lost my chance

Because I was being a coward

Because I was selfish

I felt happiness in the pads of my fingers

I felt love on the softness of my arms

I didn't deserve it

I wasn't worth it

I gave up

Forget you! Forget this world, Forget love

Damn this life, and damn me!

Tears flowed

They were meaningless

My mind raged

My every breath tormented

As life dripped out of me

I fell again

I didn't want up

I wanted to wallow in my self pity

But something was looking after me

Someone else came along and picked me up

I resisted

I was too weak

I needed to be picked up

I was still hurting and he loved me

I'm sorry.

I'm sorry I caused you so much pain

I am so sorry

Please forgive me

Don't drop out of my life

Be my friend

I can't take another loss

And I can't forget you


Comments:

I am once again amazed by your words
Posted by Tiffany on Saturday, January 20, 2007 - 12:33 AM